


Present, Past, Future

by xantar



Series: Present, Past, Future [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Non-Canonical Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:57:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xantar/pseuds/xantar
Summary: Not everyone is born to be a hero. Some grow into the idea slowly, piecemeal, like waking from a dream. Working a little at a time till one day they awaken and the world has changed around them and they are held in esteem. For others, it is not a dream but a nightmare. Because the best heroes aren't born. They are made.





	1. Present

 “Oh my god….Blue?” A body was lying naked, crumpled and broken in a street corner, hard to recognise under the blood and dirt covering. Hard to tell even if it was alive.

 Piper ran up to her and stopped. Dogmeat was crouched, hackles raised and growling, teeth bared and standing guard duty over Nora, keeping everyone back, including the Brotherhood Knights that had had to call for Piper to help them bring Nora home. Dogmeat wasn’t in any mood to let any people near his person.

 Paladin Danse was standing sentry, biting distance away from the dog, keeping his eyes scanning for any super mutants the Brotherhood may have missed. He knew he had really messed up and come hell…..well, looking into the reporters eyes he pretty much surmised that hell would descend on him soon enough without adding further insult to the explosive situation. He looked at the vertibird just meters away and wished that things had been slightly different. Not really. He wished that things had been a whole lot different and that he wasn’t going to get a reaming both from Ms Wright and Elder Maxson. Surprisingly, he was more scared of the feisty reporter in front of him who was now crouching down speaking quietly to Dogmeat, than his boss.

 “Come on Dogmeat, come on boy” Piper spoke softly, hand outstretched toward him, tears filling her eyes and rolling down her cheeks “Let me help her. Let me help you”

 Dogmeat whimpered, sniffed Pipers hand and went and lay down next to Nora. He nosed a broken and deformed hand for a pat but there was no movement.

 Piper slowly advanced continuing to talk quietly while Dogmeat looked on, till she could reach out and touch the hand that hadn’t patted Dogmeat. It was warm.

  _Thank fuck,_ Piper thought and got closer. Nora, the hero of the commonwealth, General to the Minutemen, friend of the Brotherhood and someone extremely important to Piper, was still alive.

 “It’s ok Blue, I got you, I’m getting you home” Piper squatted down, covered Blues naked body with a blanket Danse handed her, carefully put her arms under Noras back and legs and braced herself. Nora had always been heavier than her, and Piper, and though stronger than she used to be thanks to Blue, was still smaller. Piper stood up from a squat _ok, that was too easy, I’m not that strong,_ she thought _. She’s too light_.

 

 Piper began walking back to Diamond City, to Publick Occurrences where she lived and worked with her sister, Nat. She glared at Danse as she walked as if daring him to stop her and also in warning, that this….this wasn’t over.

 Dogmeat followed closely, practically glued to Pipers leg as she carried Blue the last few blocks home. “Get the door boy, go on” Dogmeat obliged and Piper was grateful that Blues dog was a smart as Blue herself was.

 “NAT” She yelled out as they pushed through the door, “NEED SOME HELP here” Piper toned the volume down as she spotted her little sister. “Go get Dr Sun. Tell him to come now……and that ‘soon’ is not an option” Piper trusted her little sister to fetch the Doctor. She could be pretty intimidating when needed, and when not needed as well, and this was certainly a time when Nats skills were needed.

 Nat left hurriedly as Piper ascended the stairs to her bedroom still carrying Nora, and gently lay her down on the mattress. A small whimper escaping from the injured woman the only indication that she was even aware enough to notice a change as Piper placed her on her back and pulled a blanket over her battered body.

 “Blue? Can you hear me?” Piper held Noras hand, her face a picture of misery. “Nats getting Dr Sun Blue, you’re gonna be okay.” Pipers voice cracked a little at that and she really hoped that she hadn’t just lied to her friend.

 The door opened downstairs and Piper heard talking “We’re up here” she called and turned to look as the Dr appeared with a bag. A very big bag.

 Dr Sun quickly assessed the situation, and the presence of the dog. “Is he going to let me do my job?” he asked, pointedly looking at Dogmeat.

 “Sure. Dogmeat?” the dog looked at Piper. “We’re not going to hurt her. Let Dr Sun near her okay boy?” Dogmeat licked Pipers hand and went and sat near the end of the bed, his head resting on the mattress near Noras feet.

 

 “Piper, can you heat some of this water so I can get her clean enough to see what’s going on?” Dr Sun handed Piper some cans of water from his bag.  He continued to pull more stuff out of his bag as Piper hurried downstairs to do as instructed. Cans of purified water, bandages, old rags that look like bits of shirt, but cleaner, flat pieces of old tin cans, old sewing needles, some disgusting looking white stringy stuff in a little bag, adhesive tape, more scissors and more bandages.

 It took only a few minutes before she returned and looked on in awe at the Dr’s supplies that, in a different time, in a different place, she would have called junk. The stuff Blue picked up all the time and carried all over the Commonwealth.  Had Nora herself supplied some of this medical equipment? Had Piper helped carry it?

 “How is that hot water going?”

 “Sorry….got a bit distracted, here it is” Piper handed Sun the water and watched as he poured it into a bowl and grabbed a rag and began to wash the blood and dirt from Nora’s face.

 “Can you keep that hot water coming please Piper, this is going to take a lot of cleaning.” Sun instructed.

 For the next what felt like ages, Piper and Nat were kept busy running up and downstairs heating water, throwing dirty water away and rinsing rags till Sun was satisfied with the result of his efforts in cleaning off the grime and mess that had covered Noras injuries.

 “Oh my god” Pipers voice was hushed as for the first time she really looked at her friend. She had thought that it wasn’t possible that she could get more upset. Till now.

 Blues body was a mass of bruises, cuts and grazes. There was a large purple and blue swollen area over her left ribs that hurt Piper to even look at. Previously muscle covered bones were showing through her skin and Piper could see every rib. Around her neck was a large hand print and what looked like a blistering burn across her stomach.

 Piper couldn’t go on looking and closed her eyes. She was crying and she didn’t know if it was anger or grief at what had been done.

 “I’m sorry Doctor.  Nat, we’re going downstairs.”

“But I want to help” Nat complained.

 The look in Pipers eyes was enough to send the younger Wright scuttling downstairs.

 “Piper,” Piper stopped and looked at the Doc, “I know this is difficult, but can you stay for a few more minutes.  Just to help me roll her onto her side. I’ll need to start working on her back first.”

 Piper reluctantly turned away from the staircase and came back.

 Doctor Sun then told Piper how to help. “hand placed here…..and here. On my count of three carefully turn her to face the wall…1…2…3” Piper moved Blue with the doctor and together they rolled Blue onto her side. He peeled the sheet that was stuck onto Nora’s back off and exposed the raw ugly wounds.

 Piper gasped and felt her knees loosen. _Oh…I think I’m gonna be sick._ She sat down heavily on the chair. Blues back was one big angry red mess. There was dried blood, fresh oozing blood, dirt, and bits of….is that flesh? Piper gagged and looked away. She didn’t want to look away.  She didn’t really want to leave either but it was too much. Too much blood, too much of everything really. How was Blue still alive?

 “I gotta go doc.” Doctor Sun glanced at her quickly, more than slightly concerned at the ice cold tone of voice. Piper moved away to the staircase and turned aside. “I’ll be just here though.”

 “Yeah, sure. I’ll be a while here. A long while.”

 “Can I get some stimpacks for you? Um….her?” Piper glanced briefly at the other woman.

 “Wouldn’t be any good I’m sorry. Not yet anyway. She’s lost too much weight. The stim packs aren’t working. She wasn’t this skinny before right?”

 Piper shook her head and thought back……

 

_Nora picked up yet more junk, laughing at Pipers face as another tin can made its way into her backpack._

_"Blue, come on. Let me carry something before you cripple yourself.”_

_"It’s good exercise. I’m liking getting stronger. Besides, I’ll share some with you shortly.” Nora replied with a grin._

_“Well I got say…all those muscles? They look good on you…er…..on anyone…really.” Piper tried to cover her embarrassment_

“My guess,” Dr Sun continued unaware of the memories his words stirred up in Piper, “is that they were keeping her alive with stims when her injuries became too great.  Not feeding her and the repeated use of stimpacks have cannibalised her body for quick heals. My fear is that giving her one now would tip her body over the edge from which there would be no recovery.” Dr Sun informed sorrowfully. “if it actually did anything at all.” he mumbled to himself.” Dr Sun pointed to a mass of bruises and abrasions to Nora’s thighs.

 “Oh no. Was she…did they…” Piper couldn’t say it, not wanting to voice her fears.

 “It appears so.” Dr Sun stopped talking.

 Piper stumbled and sat down on the stairs. _What? This can’t be happening. Not to Blue. Not to the woman who had turned up at the gates of Diamond City looking lost and bewildered. Who despite being new to the Commonwealth had just seemed to fit. But fit in a way that made her grow and want to help others grow and improve their lot._

Dr Sun continued working, talking to himself more than to Dogmeat who pricked his ears listening anyway, seeming to understand. Sun catalogued injuries as he slowly made his way across and down Noras body.

 _“Back….are these caused by a whip? Haven’t seen that in..hmmm._ " Distracted in his musings Dr Sun carefully washed over Nora’s back with the purified water and the old shirt cloths till all the blood, sweat and dirt was gone. He gently placed clean bandages over the multitude of wounds and lay her back onto it so he could start suturing the cut over her eye brow which seemed to be following an old scar.

 “Did Nora have an old injury above her eye?” he asked Piper.

 “Above her left eye? Yeah, don’t know what from though, she never told me. It was just always there since I met her and seemed to be old.” Piper replied.

 Grabbing the stringy suture material Sun, threaded an old sewing needle.  He carefully washed the cut, checking the eyelid to make sure there was no eyeball laceration before beginning suturing. “ _T_ _hat will leave a scar. Again._

_Mouth…okay ,just a few cuts inside but no broken teeth. Must have had great dental care pre war. These teeth are strong. Jaw….not broken. Teeth fitting together normally._

_Head, some swollen areas, good, no boggy mass. Some cuts but no major head trauma._

_Neck….well nothing we can do about that bruise but hopefully her voice will be okay._

_Ribs…maybe one or two broken there. Burn….”._ wash, examine, bandage, “ _…..got to keep that clean._

_Arms….some stiches needed here. Wrap those up. More bruising._

_Fingers…where is that tape I put out.”_ Looks for adhesive tape _. “ I’ll strap these broken ones together together._

_Legs…multiple abrasions and cuts, so many bruises...clean, suture….bandage. No broken bones. Good._

_Feet…these look broken, what did that I wonder. Not much to do there and she’s not in a position that she’ll be walking yet anyway.”_

 

 “Woof.” Dogmeat answered.

 “Oh, you’re still here dog. Forgot I had an audience. Well she’s all bandaged up as much as I can do today. You keep an eye on her and come get me if things get worse.”

 Dogmeat cocked his head as if agreeing.

 Doctor Sun packed up his bag and wandered downstairs. Piper was sitting on the bottom stair head in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking.

 “Ms Wright,….Piper, she’s all patched up. Try and get some food into her. Noodle soup, mushy stuff, anything really. I’ll come by tomorrow and check up on her. And you.”

 “Thank you. Is she going to be okay?” she asked as she rubbed her face trying to pretend that she hadn’t been crying. Just then noises were heard coming from upstairs. Pipers ears pricked up. There was moaning coming from the bedroom. She shot upstairs but not before Dogmeat began barking frantically.

 “DOC!” Piper yelled, “what’s happening.” Nora was rigid and shaking. Back arching and blood seeping from between clenched teeth. A horrible moaning sound coming from deep within her throat.

 Dr Sun was close on Pipers heels. “Does Nora do chems?” he asked hurriedly.

 “What? No!” Piper was adamant.

 “Well she’s having what looks like a withdrawal seizure. Either that or it’s from a head injury I missed. Grab my bag. I’m sure I have an addictol puffer in here…yes, there it is. Open her lips, don’t try and open her mouth, you might lose a finger.”

 Piper gave the doctor a look that may have caused bodily harm if he had seen, and opened Nora’s lips. Doctor Sun put the inhaler between Noras lips. “Now cover her nose so she can only breath through her mouth. Yes, like that” Piper did as she was instructed.

 Nora began to relax as her body responded to the chem.

 “Well that should take care of any addictions, but I changed my mind about trying to feed her later. I think we need to force feed her now.”

 “What do you mean, force feed her. How?” Piper frowned. She didn’t want her friend hurt any more.

 Dr Sun pulled a long thin tube out of his bag. “Go get me some power noodles please. Lots of soup, hold the noodles.”

 “Why, what are you going to do?”

 “Piper please, trust me on this.”

 

 By the time Piper got back from the noodle bar, Nora had a tube stuck in her nose. “What the hell is that?” she glared.

 “Give me that soup please.” Dr Sun carefully syringed all the soup down the tube into Noras stomach. “That, is dinner. Only noodle soup today. One bowl every two hours. You think you can do that? Because if you can, in a couple of days we might be able to use a stim or two, and if you can’t, well, I’ll just have to move her to my surgery.”

 Piper looked down and away, anywhere but at the tube stuck in Blues face. “Yeah, yeah I can do that. You’re not taking her anywhere.”

 Piper thought about Blues relationship with food and ever so slightly her mood lightened momentarily. She was always having to remind Nora to eat.

 

_“But its disgusting.” Nora mumbled._

_“What? You say something Blue?”_

_“It’s a giant Bloatfly that just shot its grossness all over me and now you want me to eat it. That’s putrid.”_

_“Its food Blue, that you cooked. Suck it up.”_

_Nora wasn’t the best cook. She had once told Piper that she’d had to ask Codsworth for lessons. Her deceased husband Nate didn’t like her using the kitchen and cooking and that was one of the reasons they had a Mr Handy robot butler. The 200yr old butler wasn’t a bad teacher, as long as taste and texture wasn’t an issue._

_“Don’t we have any omelette left?” Nora whined._

_Piper smirked “You want to go hunting deathclaws to rob their nests? Because I know mirelurk omelette is not a treat.”_

_“Umm…..”_

_“You are not seriously thinking about that.” Piper laughed. “Just eat your bloatfly.”_

_“Ok….gimme that….ugh…..food.” Gagging with every mouthful Nora choked back the dish she had prepared, a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead. “Oh my god, that’s so gross.” Nora looked across at Piper “What are you……..You’re not eating any?”_

_“Ewww, are you kidding? I’m having gumdrops.” Piper pulled out one of her ever present packs of gumdrops and began to chew. “mmm, 200yr old gum drops are so much...”_

_Nora lunged for the pack, missed and fell off her log as Piper hid her hands behind her back. “Say please.”_

_Piper grinned. “No!” she shrieked, “no tickling.” Nora was fast and strong. She held Piper with one hand and tickled her with the other “so not fair, you already ate your dinner” Piper could hardly breath from laughing, “stop….I’ll share….”_

 And now she was going to have to spoon feed, well, syringe feed her.

 Piper sat down in the chair beside her bed. “Blue, I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you” she whispered. She picked up Blues hand and held it gently. It felt so frail. Not the strong hand that had pulled her back from the line of fire so many times. Not the calloused hand that had helped build settlements and beds and bathrooms. Not the tired hand that had held a warm bottle of Nuka Cola as she drank and looked at Piper with a grin and a twinkle in her eye while celebrating the opening of the new bar at the Starlight Drive In. Not the gentle hand that had touched her face once, that had ignited a hope deep within. A hope Piper didn’t fully understand yet.

 “Dogmeat, stay here. Do not leave her! I need answers, and so help him if he doesn’t give them to me.  I’m coming for you Danse.”

 Piper left Publick Occurrences. She wanted to shoot something. Someone even. If only the Brotherhood hadn’t cleaned out the supermutants outside of Diamond City when they arrived with Nora. Piper turned left outside the Paper and headed for the Power Noodle Bar. Paladin Danse was there keeping his eye on Takahashi.

 “Danse! What the fuck.” Piper slammed her hand onto his power armour and let him have it, her eyes hard and angry. “Nora leaves with you three weeks ago for some damned guard duty job…” Piper was waving her hands wildly. Danse took a step back affronted but feeling like he deserved it. “No, you do not get to go anywhere. You sit back down and you tell me. You tell me why the hell my friend ( _more than friend?)_ is up there looking like that,” Piper felt a stab of physical pain go through her twisting in her gut, “why Nora is up there fighting for her life, and you are sitting here, unscratched, eating power noodles.” Piper realised she was getting louder and louder and people were beginning to look.

 “What the hell happened Danse?” she whispered, fire in her eyes.


	2. Previously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Piper and Nora relax, Piper remembers and Blue leaves, for a Brotherhood assignment.

 Nora lounged on Pipers couch, a nuka cola in one hand and playing with her pipboy with the other. Her armour was piled in a heap in the corner in a big mess with her guns freshly cleaned and lubricated in a smaller tidier pile next to it. Ready to go.

 Piper looked over from her tinkering in the printing press catching a glimpse of Nora stretching out lengthways across the old worn couch cushions. _Oh my god, HOT_ she thought and bit her lip to distract herself from gawking. She buried her head back inside the machine and tried not to think of when her friendship changed from friend…to wanting something more.  She remembered the day they met like it was yesterday….

_“Agh…You open this gate right now, Danny Sullivan! I live here. You can’t just lock me out.” Piper shouted outside the very closed gate of Diamond City. She turned enough to notice she had an audience._

_“You, you want in to Diamond City, right?” she asked the stranger looking at her._

_“I just got here, but yeah.” The woman in the slightly worn vault suit replied._

_“Shh. Play along.” Piper whispered back before directing her conversation back to the wall. “You said you’re a trader up from Quincy? You have enough supplies to keep the general store stocked for a whole month? Huh.”_

_The newcomer watched Piper talk her way back in to the city and was impressed by the convincing act as she followed Piper through the newly opened gate._

_“So Blue, what’s brought you to the great green jewel of the Commonwealth?” Piper asked eyeing the newcomer. Taller than her. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Eyes that are hiding things. Secrets. Nothing Piper liked more than a secret. Secrets meant stories, and stories sold papers._

_“Blue?” Nora looked around and then down “oh, the vault suit.” She paused “I’m looking for someone. An infant boy. He’s been kidnapped.”_

_Pipers news sense pricked up “So, you're looking for an infant boy, huh? Hmm. Interesting you not mentioning whether the boy's related to you in any way. Hmm.” She sounded suspicious. “Why don't you stop by my office, later? I think maybe I can help you out, after I get some answers.”_

_Blue didn’t show. Piper began to wonder if she had said something to the woman with all the secrets that had scared her off. After discreetly asking around town, it seemed that the stranger had gone to see the detective, Nick Valentine, and then left Diamond City. Piper paid her old and only friend Nicky a visit only to find him not there. His assistant Ellie was there and mentioned that Nick was missing._

_“Nicky's missing? What has he gotten himself into this time?” Piper asked herself._

_Two weeks later Blue showed up with a dog, Nick Valentine, and a limp. According to the detective, when being interviewed by the reporter, Blue had shown up with the dog to rescue him while he was locked up in an old vault. Vault 114. The detective was being held captive there by Malone and his goons. They had got out unharmed and on the way back, Blue had tripped, on a brick._

_“Really Nick? She got you away from the triggermen and Malone, with bullets flying all over. You both get out unharmed with not even a graze, and she sprains her ankle on a brick?” Piper wondered at the apparent luck or was is skill of the stranger who could dodge flying bullets and was then clumsy enough to trip on rubble, in a city that was full of rubble. She hoped that Blue wouldn’t get herself killed by a building. She also hoped that the mysterious woman would herself show up for an interview._

_Piper asked around town later that day and found out the Blue was staying at the Dugout Inn, so she hung around the bar hoping to see her and remind her of her request. After her fifth Nuka Cola, and about the time Piper was starting to think five drinks were three too many and she really must pee soon but can’t just in case she misses the woman in Blue, Nat, Pipers little sister showed up._

_“Piper, hey” Nat called as she opened the door to Vadims bar, trying to get her sisters attention over the mumble of the other patrons and the noise of the radio playing Diamond Citys’ own station. “There is some lady at the paper looking for you and talking about an interview. I can do it if you want to stay here.” And with that Nat took off out of the bar._

_Piper shot out of her seat and realised that she absolutely needed the bathroom before going anywhere._

_She arrived home a bit later a little breathless after running from the bar, and walked in to find Blue sitting uncomfortably on the couch being grilled by Nat. “Is that your dog? Where did you get him?”_

_“I, ah, found him...” Blue started before being cut off_

_“What do you want to see my sister for? You got a story?” Nat continued without a breath, “Is that why you are wearing a vault suit? Did you steal it?”_

_“Nat!” Piper interjected and glared._

_Nat stopped speaking and looked at her sister, “oops, gottago nicetameetcha,” and quickly made her way outside._

_“Sorry about that Blue. She really is an awesome kid. Great at selling the papers, but her interview skills? Well let’s just say I haven’t encouraged it.”_

_“It’s ok, and my name is Nora by the way.”_

_Piper listened to Nora talk. She talked about being frozen in Vault 111 before the bombs dropped. She talked about her son, and she talked about hope._

 Wow _, Piper thought,_ and I thought I was persuasive _, as she found herself offering to accompany Blue on her travels._

 “OUCH!”

 Nora looked up from her Pipboy as Piper climbed out from inside the machine rubbing her head. “You know how the Brotherhood of Steel wants me to help with some research patrols?” Nora began…

 Boy oh boy did Piper know this. If it wasn’t the Brotherhood, it was the Minutemen. Or a settler. Or the Railroad. In fact, it seemed that everybody in the entire Commonwealth wanted Nora for some reason or another. Watching Blue over the last few weeks Piper had realised that Nora was a magnet. People were just naturally drawn to her and where ever she was, people came. How else to explain all the new settlements popping up all over. Nora’s voice calling out over the radio waves inviting people in drew them to the newly formed safe places. It drew raiders as well, but with all the scrap Nora and Piper had been collecting, and Blue somehow knowing how to turn garbage into, well, pretty much anything, the settlements were all well on their way to being able to defend themselves.

 “Yeah, sure. Brotherhood. Escort someone somewhere dangerous so they can, what? Save the Commonwealth from the evils of technology?” Piper replied still rubbing the rapidly growing egg on her head.

 “Um, sure. Something like that Pipes.” Blue returned with a grin. Blue looked at Piper who was now rummaging around for something cold to put on her sore head, and realised that she would miss her. The funny comments, the speaking with her hands when she talked, the smile on her face when she looked at Blue…

 “Blue, come back to me. Where did you go?”

 “Uh…” Nora looked away, “Sorry, was thinking, about…umm…Dogmeat. Yeah. I should take him with me. Use him to sniff out any Raiders.”

 “Not that you’d need a dog to smell Raiders.” Piper interjected, “but yeah. I can use the time you are gone to write about you. The news. I meant the news. And all the stuff going on here…. in Diamond City. Not here….in the Publick. Is it getting hot in here?” Piper ducked her head to hide the blush that she was sure was all over her face _. Oh my god. I can’t believe I just said that. Out loud_.

 “So, ahh, you heading off soon then?” Piper asked once she was sure she was back in control of her words.

 “In the morning. I thought I’d save my legs and get the Brotherhood to work for me. Going to get a Brotherhood taxi to pick me up and fly me to the Prydwen to collect the Scribe and then onto whatever adventure Elder Maxim has for me.”

 Looking at Blue eager for the morning to come and keen once more to step into the unknown, Piper had a hard time marrying up who she knew as Blue, and who Nora had told her she was. Not that that had been much she realised.

 Lawyer. In the military. Blue had to tell her what a lawyer was and what they did and that she had been a pretty good one. Apparently Blue had been a medic before deciding on a military career change and studied to become a lawyer. For the military. Piper figured that if the job involved talking to people and convincing them of certain things then she really did understand how Blue was good at it. Piper had thought at first Blues was lucky that people just want to be near her but quickly realised that yes, there was a bit of luck, but hell, the woman just knew what to say. People liked her.

 Mother, looking for her son. It’s what she’d told Piper in her first interview with the woman from the vault. The Woman out of Time. Shaun, the son that was kidnapped. She was looking, wasn’t she? Of course a mother would look for her missing child. Piper would do anything, go anywhere if Nat ever turned up missing.

 Widow. Husband Nate murdered while trying to stop his son being taken. Blue didn’t really talk about Nate. Piper knew they got married after Nora became a lawyer and had moved to the military suburb of Sanctuary Hills and that they had a child. Maybe his loss was still too painful to talk about.

_Actually,_ Piper thought to herself _, Blue doesn’t really talk about her past at all. She talks about the city. The broken places she'd been to before when you could walk around without fear of ghouls, or raiders, or super mutants, when you only had to worry about....what?. Where she studied law. Where she used to go for coffee in her break times. The library where she hung out and read books. Lot of books. The supermarket in Lexington she would stop in at on the way home from work to pick up some Salisbury Steak or some other tasty something for dinner. That wasn't 200yrs old._

_But that’s all. Information stuff.  Was her life so much better with Nate that she doesn’t want me to feel bad that this is all we have now._ And an even quieter voice deep inside her head _-That this is all I have to offer?_ Piper pondered her musings. _So many secrets Blue. That’s okay though. I’ll let you keep them. For now._

 Nora lit the signal grenade and waited for the vertibird to arrive, Piper standing next to her. She could feel the warmth of Pipers body somehow getting through her red leather coat and warming her. “Hey Pipes,” Piper looked up, “keep my couch warm okay?”

 “Sure. Your couch.“ Piper replied smirking. “Hey, be careful. I…um…I’ll miss your face. You know. When you’re not there checking me out when I’m upside down in the printing press.” Piper blurted out in a rush.

 “What! You knew?” Noras face went fiery red in embarrassment, “how….er…..”

 “I’m a detective.  Well, a reporter, but it’s the same thing. I notice things. Don’t tell Nick I said that.” Piper grinned.

 The vertibird chose that time to land and Blue climbed aboard, Piper laughing at her and Nora still wearing an adorable shade of pink and wondering what else Piper has been noticing.


	3. Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora takes on the gunners, and fails

  Later that day Nora, Dogmeat and the Brotherhood scribe landed at Jamaica Plain.

 “Last stop for repairs, ammo, food and water. Get your gear on and your guns out.” Nora liltingly called out.

 The scribe just looked at her and got back to…..whatever the hell it was she was doing. Nora lost interest quickly and made sure her own pack and supplies were all good to go.

 “You all good boy? Ready for adventure?” Nora ruffled Dogmeats head affectionately.

 “Woof.” Dogmeat looked at her adoringly.

 “That’s it boy. I need more puppy dog eyes in my life.” Nora bent down and scruffed his neck more as Dogmeat leaned into her caress. “Let’s go.”

 

 Nora holstered her institute pistol fitted out with long range scope and patted her pocket feeling an old 10mm nestled there as back-up. Yep, weapons accounted for. Ammo loaded up and easy to get to. Backpack half empty. These Brotherhood missions sometimes netted some awesome finds.

 Stimpacks, Radaway and food. Real food. That Nora had paid good caps for. That Piper had cooked. So much better than her own cooking. Deathclaw steaks, grilled Radstag. And even though Pipers Baked Bloatfly was kind of tasty compared to Blues version, there was none of that. Not a can of anything ancient stashed secretly anywhere. When did Piper go through her bag and toss out the boring and bland and replace it with fresh and real?  Not that she minded. At all. And remembered back.

   _She was so hungry. The can of Cram was sitting there, ready to eat. A little dusty on the outside, but when she opened it, it looked exactly the same. Same taste too. Mostly. It had a little zing to it that she didn’t remember but figured it was 200yrs old after all. She herself had a little zing in her own footsteps that she couldn’t remember having. So she ate._

_She had thought she was dying. Her stomach had such pains, worse than when Shaun was being born.  Her body was wracked with fevers. The worst though was the vomiting. Vomiting that never stopped that left her weak and gasping for air, and she hoped for the end. It never came.  Codsworth had eventually thought of radiation poisoning and somehow had provided medicine washed down with some purified water he had distilled especially._

_Then he taught her to cook. Badly. Over an open fire. She wasn’t very good at it and it tasted horrible, but it was food. Not so hard after all.  She burnt herself a couple of times till she got the hang of it.  She never burnt down the house she’d camped out in despite believing that that is what she would happen, but figured that if did, it might it actually be an improvement. Especially if the entire neighbourhood burnt down with it._

_Codsworth had taught her a lot of things in those early days. Cooking and cleaning being the forefront of his skills as a domestic butler._

_She spent a lot of time tidying all the houses in the street as she looked for…..she didn’t really know. Stuff. It had been a long time since she had been a medic and had really only just started in the military when, following an abrupt change of mind, she changed career paths and got into military law. Nora really had no idea what she wanted or needed here, now, and at the end of a week of rummaging through 200yr old garbage had a huge pile of clothes, cans, kitchen appliances, tools, bottles, plates, soft toys, empty fuel cans, bottle caps, plastic, metal….everything, she realised looking at it, that went into creating wasteful lives. She also came across some ammo, a second 10mm, more 200yr old preserved food that she put aside, and bobby pins._

_The idea of the bobby pins interested her as she remembered seeing a locked safe in one of the houses._ Why the hell not. No one around anymore telling me I can’t. _She had made Codsworth go away as his constant talking and then whistling, apart from being a major annoyance, impaired Nora’s ability to hear the tumblers as she broke bobby pin after bobby pin trying to open the safe._ Damn. None left _. But she had found more. Later. Eventually improving enough to open her first safe._

_She got to practise shooting the 10mm she found too, without fear of killing anyone, though she did accidently put a bullet into Codsworths casing while trying to kill Bloatflys._

_The entire neighbourhood was cleaned. Except her house. She had gone in and found a book of Shauns and an old comic book. She hadn’t been back since. She hadn’t returned to the vault either. Nate was still laying there. Where they shot him. She had taken his wedding ring and left. Codsworth had given her a holotape from Nate that she hadn’t listened to. She had left it in Sanctuary Hills, with the wedding ring._

 “Heads up.” Nora crouched down. Somehow in her musings they had travelled west far enough that they were now outside a heavily fortified building, ”Where are we again?” Nora asked the scribe quietly.

 “Gunners Plaza.” the scribe whispered back.

 Dogmeat let out a small whimper and hugged the ground.

“Inside that building is a terminal containing information the Brotherhood is interested in.” the scribe informed her.

“Of course there is.” Nora mumbled under her breath, looking at the fortifications.

 She looked through the scope on her pistol. “okay….count em……two on the ground…..one up top. Make that three on the ground. I think.” Nora continued to look for a few minutes more. “Ready?” she asked and waited for the nod of agreement.

 Nora crouched behind a tree, sighted her pistol, held her breath for a moment and pulled the trigger. _Shit…I’d give a 1000 caps for a silencer._

 “Fuck, he’s still alive. You got that one Piper?.....um…..sorry.” Nora shot a quick apologetic look to the scribe.

 She sighted a second gunner as the one she hit started zig zagging toward them. She hoped Dogmeat and - _what was her name again?_ would take that one out _. Hell, such a crappy memory Nora. How the fuck did you get through law school._

 A second shot from Nora saw the one on the roofs head explode in a cloud of red. Nora looked across for another shot. _FUCK_. “RUN.” She yelled. There were two more on the roof and they were aiming portable nukes at the trio.

They took off for the door at a sprint trying to get out of line of sight. Nora pulled out her 10mm. _24 shots before reload. Better make them count._ She put 6 more into the already injured gunner heading their way and another six, make that seven into another hiding behind a barricade, hearing the bullets impact soft flesh. _Shit, this is so such a bad idea_ she thought running wildly as the sound of turrets winding up startled her _. Turrets? How did I miss those?_

One shot to each turret and they were safe. Well, safer. _How the hell did I let myself get this distracted. Pull yourself together Nora. Don’t look back. You can’t change your mistakes_. Nora finished admonishing herself as she heard shouting from the roof. _Well, no help for that. I’m not going back out there,_ she decided.

 The three worked their way quietly to the door and entered.

The door slammed shut behind them and they stopped, listening to see if the noise had attracted unwanted attention. Dogmeat was panting quietly while the scribe bent over trying to get her own breath back. Nora breathed rapidly then realised she was bleeding. “Damn it. Another hole in my vault suit.”

 The scribe looked at her dispassionately, “Really? The vault suit?”

 Nora shrugged, winced, grabbed out a stimpack and jabbed it in her leg. “See, doesn’t hurt. Much.” _Pipers gonna kill me. She only just repaired the last holes._

 They waited for a few minutes for the bleeding to stop. No point leaving a trail. Nora and Dogmeat then peeked through the next door _. Large building, statue in the middle. Barricades.  Rooms all around the outside. Offices? Gunners in the middle. Turrets too._

 Nora peeked again and sighted along her scope and realised with a chilling revelation, this place scared her. It felt familiar in an unreal never-been-here-before way. It was a perfect place for an ambush. Multiple ambushes. It reminded her of Sanctuary, she realised with a small gasp as a rush of ice cold fear ran through her body. One entrance. Surrounded by buildings. Military housing. Soldiers. Army buddies of her husband. No way out. _No. Don’t think of it. One way out. The vault. Nate carrying the baby. He always carried the baby._ Nora screwed her eyes up. _Stop it_. She screamed silently. _He’s gone. You’re here, and you have a job to do._

 She opened her eyes and took a couple of shuddering breaths trying to still her shaking insides. _Breath. You can do this. Breath. You have done this. Breath._

 She reloaded her 10mm noticing a fine tremble in her hands, and hoped she packed enough ammo, and that she would shoot straight.

 A quick look around through some lockers found a few extra rounds but didn’t relieve the nausea that was building in the pit of her stomach.

_Breath._

  _Okay Nora, you’re just putting things off. Get this done. Breath. It’s just you. It’s always been just you. Breath. It was just you then and it’s just you now. No excuses. Breath_.  Nora looked again resolutely trying to ignore the ambush siren going off in her head and the nausea in her gut. _Two turrets. Three gunners. Lots of rooms. Let’s take this nice and slow._

 She fired the first shot aiming for a turret. “Fuck, where did they all come from?” but Nora knew. She’d fucked up. Again. It wasn’t three or even four gunners. It was six or seven.

 “Dogmeat, grab his arm,” Nora yelled as she tried to take out the turrets. They took more bullets to destroy than the ones outside. _Where the hell is that scribe_ Nora thought, and at that point, saw her run into the room shooting. _Shit, she’s not even wearing armour._

 Nora ran in after her, bullets impacting her own body armour. Dogmeat was down and whimpering. Nora couldn’t even stop long enough to stimpack him. “Hold on buddy.” She screamed to Dogmeat as she placed herself between the scribe and a grenade.

 Everything stopped. There was nothing. No pain. No noise. No fear. Just peaceful darkness, as Nora took full force of the blast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is interesting and not too slow. Or fast. I'm open to constructive criticism. I had a thought to eventually include some fluff but not sure if I can do it. I'll have to see where and how this goes.


	4. The ties that bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noras pain begins. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note additional tags of abuse

“I know who you are.” A voice whispered closely in her ear. She startled awake in reflexive fright only to find that she couldn’t move.

It was dark. It was cold, and it smelled. What was that smell….warm bodies……the sharp tang of metal……..the smell scared her. It was his smell. All sweat and metal and gun oil. The smell that lingered on her body when he touched her.  The smell that followed her in her memories, when she heard his voice reminding her.  That she was useless.  The voice that she had tried these last few months, to drown out with activity, trying to prove to herself that it wasn’t true.

That smell here…..sweat and metal and gun oil.

“I know who you are.” This time with a touch that brought a flinch that she couldn’t hide. A touch that was cold and hard pressed up against her cheek. The smell of metal and gun oil, and powder.

_Oh my god. I’m going to die here. He’s going to kill me. I watched him die but he’s here. And he’s really going to do it now._

Nora struggled. Her hands were tied above her head to something. Her feet too were bound and she lay across what she could only assume was a bed. The ties were complete and professional. Her struggles only made the bindings tighter.

Her eyes blind folded. In darkness.  She didn’t like the dark. Experience said that evil happened in the dark. As her role as a lawyer, she learnt that most crimes happened in the dark. The dark brought horror and fear and misery.

“Do you know who I am?” the callous voice in her ear taunting her.

Nora shook her head slightly. Fearing to speak but unable to stifle the whimper that formed in the back of her throat. She could still feel the pressure of the weapon pushing into her face.

A second small moan escaped her as she began to tremble. _Piper, I’m so sorry. I never even said goodbye._

“Hahahahaha. Look at that. She’s fucking freaking out and I haven’t even done anything.” The voice called out apparently directing his words to others that were present. Watching.

 _Nate…… Not Nate…... Nates dead_.

Nora heard shuffling in the room and the voice leaned in close as he whispered that final word. “Yet.”

Nora froze to the pit of her very being.

_No, please. Don’t do this. Not again. Please untie me. I’ll be good. I’ll try harder._

_Fuck. Hold it together. It’s not him_. _Breath Nora. In….out……_

 _Please don’t leave me here in the dark. You know I don’t like the dark._ She screamed into her mind.

She heard footsteps leave the room and voices in conversation. “Send word to Quincy. Let Clint, Tessa and Baker know. We caught the General of the Minutemen.” Laughing voices faded into silence and a door slammed.

She thought of Preston. The first person she met. The first person she rescued when he asked for her help. It was like before. People asked for her help and she said yes. It’s what she did. Her job. But Preston didn’t want her words. He wanted her skills. He didn’t know she couldn’t do it. That she was only good at speaking. That she didn’t know what to do or how to do it. That she had only picked up a gun two weeks ago and had been too afraid to cross the river to come to Concord. And then he made her get in that coffin. Except he called it power armour. And she fought. And she had died. A little piece of her anyway. The smallest piece that had said she didn’t know what she was doing. She had won. She had saved them. But it still felt like a coffin.

Tears formed under her eyelids and were absorbed into the blindfold.

Breath _. Do it again. Again._

She thought of Piper. Beautiful, generous, kind Piper. Piper who had so many questions in her eyes whenever she looked at Nora, but never asked. Never asked why she kept a light on at night. Who never asked anything further after that initial interview, for the Publick. Who never pressured Nora for answers she was not ready to give. _Oh god, Piper._ She hadn’t even told Piper where she was going or when she’d be back. No one would even be looking _. I’m sorry for everything. For not sharing everything. For not giving back to you what you gave me freely. Your trust_.

 _How long has it been?_ Breath _. A noise. Someone opening a door. The motor noise of a turret. It sounds so loud, here, in the dark_. Breath.

After what seemed like hours or days or may have been merely minutes Nora heard voices approaching and entering the room. Rough hands ripped the blindfold off and she squinted against the sudden light. Faces. Ugly faces. Faces with sneers.

Everyone thought she had been so lucky to have married Nate. He was so handsome. So outgoing. She didn’t have to do anything around the house because he bought her a Mr Handy to cook and clean and help with Shaun, so she wouldn’t have to.  He spent so much time with the baby. She heard the whispers from the other wives. Whispers of jealousy that she got to concentrate on her career and he was so supportive and caring. Such a perfect household. Such a perfect husband.

They were wrong. He had an ugly face. With a sneer. Was he here? She looked around quickly. No, not here. Nate must be around here somewhere with his sneering face and mocking voice. No, wait. There was a man. With a scar. A gunshot. And Nate died.

“Well well, General. Do you even know where you are? Who you messed with? No? I didn’t think so.” It was the voice. The same one as before. Yesterday?

“Bring her.” He commanded.

Hands came for her. Nora cowered into the bed but there was nowhere to go. A rope was bound around her neck and her hands and feet were released.

“Get up.” The voice said.

_Was that an A- tattooed on his head?_

Someone hauled her to her feet, the rope around her neck choking her and setting off a cough.

“Bitch.” A- said and back handed her across the face. “Did no one ever teach you not to cough at people? You’re disgusting.”

Nora had fallen back onto the bed, her face smarting and her eyes tearing up.

“Oh lookie, lookie. She’s going to cry.” A- mocked wrenching her upright. “Aren’t we in for a treat then men.” Laughter and hoots filled the room.

She was dragged out of the room, her barefeet soft against the rubble and rubbish on the floor.

_It’s not dark. I can see. I can survive._

Nora was hauled down a corridor and into a large room. There was a large GNN sign on the back wall with a Gunner symbol and three tall old cameras directed towards the back desk.

One of the gunners grabbed her arms, wrenched them over her head and tied her tightly to one of the cameras.

A- came closer. “Do you know who we are now?”

“G-gunners.” Nora stuttered out fearfully.

“G-gunners?” he laughed. “How on earth did someone as weak and pathetic as you, ever become General. What did Preston ever see in you that he gave you that title?”

“You know Preston?” Nora couldn’t stop herself.

“Who the FUCK told you that you could speak bitch.” A- snarled in her face.

He lurched around looking for something, anything and grabbed some rubbish.

The piece of metal pipe connected with Noras back and she screamed as the pain began. Again and again, till her vault suit could no longer absorb the blood and it began to drip. Again and again till Noras screams died out and she found relief in the darkness.

“You don’t get to die here General.” He spoke softly as he puffed from the exertion.

“Stimpack her!” He yelled.


	5. The memories that tie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noras torture continues in Gunner captivity. The Brotherhood comes to the rescue

 

 Nora was awake. She wished she wasn’t. She was back on that bed. Restrained, cold, in the dark. At least there was no blindfold. Not this time. Not like at first. The time on the battlefield. It had been dark then too. And raining. And cold.

“So you’re awake.” Another voice. “It’s your fault you know. I’m on rooftop duty because of you. They said I retreated because I wasn’t dead like the others. That you got in here, and I still had a full clip loaded.”

Nora couldn’t look. The voice was enough. She didn’t need to know what he looked like. She already knew. They all looked the same. That look in their eyes as they mocked. The laughter in their voices as they hurt. The cruelty in their hands when they touched.

“They should be thanking me for not killing you. That you are here to play with. But no. It’s your fault I’m up there soaking up rads.” He whined before bending closer and breathing heavily in her ear “and you’re going to pay.”

He ran his tongue up Noras face. Nora gagged and bile erupted into her mouth as her stomach rebelled at his stench and touch.

“Cruz!”

The man moved away, not quick enough, and received a well placed kick for his efforts.

“I’ll be back girl. And you’ll remember me.” Cruz darted away, narrowly missing another boot.

Nora didn’t know whether to be grateful he was gone, or forewarned. That he wasn’t.

 

Sleep came and she dreamed.

Piper. The red coat. The hat. That smile she flashed when she caught Nora looking at her. Nate leering at Nora, at Piper. Nates voice mocking - She doesn’t want you. No one wanted you. You were tainted goods. I did the world a favour, took one for the team as they say. You’re weak. Look at you. Nates eyes cold and hard as he shut the door to her coffin and locked out the light. There were no handles on the inside. The shelves digging into her as she squirmed to sit on the floor in the small room. Trying to keep still, to keep quiet. To stop the rage that was out there on the other side of the closet doors.

Nora cried out in her sleep, loud enough to wake herself up, in fear that she had been heard.

_No, can’t sleep. Nates there. He’s always there. But he’s not, is he? He’s been gone for months. They have all been gone for months. Why are they all here?_

Morning came and the dreams receded. The nightmare remained intact.

“Good morning General.” A- gave her a toothy grin. “I’m sorry we didn’t get formally introduced yesterday.

Nora was once again in the GNN room. Her hands were free but the rope around her neck was tight, almost to choking and was being  held tightly by another gunner.

“Behind is a friend of mine. I’m sure you may have heard of him. He’s my lieutenant. At Quincy. Formally of the Minutemen, he was very disappointed that Preston Garvey escaped. Clint here, is now very happy to finally have his redemption at destroying the Minutemen and Preston, and is so extremely pleased that you have obliged us by coming here, hereby allowing us to make this happen.”

Nora looked at Clint. He was bearded. His clothes worn almost through in parts where they rubbed on power armour.

“He brought others that were interested in seeing the renowned General who has been shutting down our operations and so, as you can see, you have quite the audience. These two here are also from Quincy, Tessa, and Baker.”

A- walked around from behind the desk and came up to Nora. “And my name is Wes. You may call me Captain. Okay?”

Noras eyes dropped to the floor. Not wanting to look. Not wanting to see what she already knew. That there was no way out. That there was no hope.

Captain Wes slammed her head against the desk. “Is that okay?” he roared.

Nora was stunned. Tears sprung to her eyes and she struggled against the white explosion in her brain. Her head hadn’t felt like this since her battle with the deathclaw back in Concord. Whilst in power armour. Images flashed through her mind of being trapped in that armour. Like being in a coffin. Or a closet.

“I’m not hearing anything. Is anyone else hearing anything?” Wes looked around, “No-one?”

Wes picked Nora up by the hair and dragged her over to a bunk throwing her face down.

“I’ll teach you to ignore me. Bring me some jet. Lots of jet.” He chuckled quietly, “Do you like chems girl? I like them. Not for myself of course, but we have a lab here……for..... special occasions.”

Wes removed a knife from his belt and began cutting Nora’s vault suit. Nora stiffened. “Oops, silly me. I cut you. Better keep still bitch or next time it might be deeper.”

The blue cloth soon became a pile of rags on the floor. Nora was shaking and her mind flashed back to that night in the rain. She had been so happy. It was cold but the squad she had been assigned to as medic was working as a team. All day they had trudged across fields working ever closer to their training objective. That night the enemy had attacked. That night she had been captured. That night the pain began.

She squeezed her eyes tight against the fear. Against the panic that threatened to overwhelm.

Wes pulled her head up, forced the puff of jet into her face and time slowed. She could hear every heartbeat of terror that coursed through her body. Every sound, every touch somehow magnified as she experienced eternity in a moment. His coarse hands roughly tugging at her hips as he entered her. The pain exploding in a way that it never had before. Again and again he rammed himself into her. The jet kept coming and time was motionless and immeasurable. There was no-one around who cared when she screamed.

The days blurred from being days to being episodes of pain, humility and brutality. Too much jet. Too much time. So much pain.

She remembered begging one day when the Captain came. Begging to die. She remembered the laughter and the hate in his voice as he replied. “See that’s just the thing. A dead general is just another dead minuteman. A live general is very useful. And oh so much more fun.”

When she could, she wondered how could people do this to someone. Someone weak and alone and defenceless. How they could find entertainment in hitting. In cutting. In raping. In breaking.  She had wondered that for so long now. Since that night. The night in the dark that had changed her mind about being in the field. The night that no one believed because soldiers were honourable and heroes and lived by a code.  The night following which, she left the medical corp and went into law.

The nights were long. The stimpacks taking longer and longer to heal. The weakness at first just small but increasing daily. Some nights there was reprieve and all she thought about was Piper. The spark in her darkness and she hoped. Other nights Nate would come, or the soldiers. His friends as she had found out too late. But most nights it was gunners. So many. She remembered Cruz now. She remembered everybody. By voice. By touch. But mostly by smell.

The nights with Nate were the worst. Tormenting, not protecting. Reminding her how weak and pathetic she really was. Telling her that Piper will see it too. _That you are useless and she will despise you for who you really are._

The spark in her darkness faded.

Nora felt her own self fading. The dark, the bindings, a weight that was too familiar. A past? A present? Faded into….not sleep. Sleep didn’t help. Sleep didn’t protect. Faded into oblivion. Into emptiness. Into the nothing. The nothing that had gripped her for so many years.

 

The stimpacks stopped working. Her ribs hurt when she breathed. A sharp pain that stabbed when she moved. She tried not to move. She tried not to breath but there was no hope of death. Not for her.

“Please stop hurting me.” She would whisper into the dark. Mouth dry, lips cracked and caked with dried blood. Everything was pain. The blackness a welcome release from awareness, but not from the cause. And when she woke there were new pains. They didn’t care if she was conscious, or not. Pretty soon, it was mostly not.

 

Nora didn’t hear the gunfire. She didn’t hear the screams. She didn’t feel the touch of her frantic dog licking her face when he rushed into her prison. She didn’t see the sorrow on the faces of the Brotherhood soldiers who found her and untied her. She didn’t feel scribe Haylen gently wrapping a worn blanket around her to cover her privacy. And she didn’t stir when Danse picked her up carefully, carried her out of the darkness and lay her on the floor of the vertibird.

It was the longest flight in Danses life.

They landed in a clearing along the river as close as they could get to Diamond City.

Nora woke up.

Where was she? It was so bright. The pain. Everywhere. No ropes. No restraints. She moved, fell, then ran. Almost half a block. Each step a new episode of pain. Then falling, so slowly. She was out before hitting the ground. Dogmeat was there.

“Oh shit.” Danse muttered to himself. “My day is about to get a whole lot worse.” He sent someone running for Diamond City. For the one person who could help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to improve but it will take time.


	6. Awakenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue wakes up, but is not as well as Piper hoped

Nora lay on Pipers bed as still as in death. Her face pale, the reds and purples of the cuts and bruises standing out in stark contrast. The tube in her nose a constant reminder that her life remained in someone elses hands.

Piper was diligent. Noodle soup down the tube every two hours, while it was daylight. Not so hard. No. Night time was when it was hard.

Piper and Dogmeat curled up together on the floor, listening to Nora. Listening to her cries. Her screams. Her nightmares.

On the third night Piper remembered to leave a light on, and the screaming stopped. But the night was still long. Piper had forgotten that Nora…..Blue….. always slept with a light. She had never asked why but had assumed it was because of Noras disgust of the Commonwealth insect life. Seems she was wrong.

Piper cried softy and hugged Dogmeat closer burying her face into his fur to muffle her sobs as the sounds of anguish and pain and misery enveloped her. Dogmeat whimpered as his master babbled in her delirium. Words that broke Pipers heart for her friend. Words that haunted her, and words that said _no more secrets_ , and _don’t assume_ and _for fucks sake Piper why didn’t you just be the papergirl and ask questions._

Dr Sun came daily to check up on them both and by day five, turned up with a stimpack.

“I think she’s ready.” he said softly.

Piper sat close to Blue as Sun jabbed the stimpack into Noras thigh.

Nora gave a small mew and whimper _No please, no more. No more needles. No more pain_. Realising that she wasn't restrained, Nora balled her hand into a hard fist and gave the biggest round house punch she had ever given. She was going to make them pay for what they did, for the pain they caused, for the hurt they inflicted, starting with the person she could sense sitting next to her.

Piper gently caught Blues hand as it sluggishly came off the bed.

“Blue, it’s okay. You’re safe. You’re home.” She held the bandaged hand as Nora struggled weakly.

“Home?” It was more of a croak than a word.

“Yeah Blue. Home.” Piper held Noras hand till she fell the tension leave as Nora drifted off. The effort of waking leaving her fatigued.

Dr Sun and Piper watched as the bruising on Noras face faded to yellow and the angry red laceration through her eyebrow grew less angry looking as the stimpack continued to work.

Sun looked his patient over and diagnosed her as fit for another one. Tomorrow. “And you Ms Wright. You need to get some rest too. Have you been eating? I don’t want you as a patient as well.”

“Yeah. The Brotherhood, Danse has been providing for us. For Blue.” Piper relied thinly, dark circles underscoring her eyes. It had been a rough week.

 

Dr Sun let himself out as Piper and Dogmeat rested their heads on the bed next to Nora, Dogmeat watching over both of them, as Piper began to snore.

 

The Dr was as good as his word and turned up first thing in the morning with not one, but two stimpacks.

Blue hadn’t woken since yesterday, but Piper was relieved that there had been no nightmares overnight and that she herself felt more rested.

Dr Sun moved in beside his patient, talking to her as he worked. “Nora, I’m going to take this thing out of your nose first then give you a couple more stims.” He laid the tube aside that had slid out easily while he talked, and proceeded to give the injections.

Nora tried to bat away the hands that hurt but the sharp pain was quickly over and Piper watched as her breathing pattern became deeper and more regular, even as the injuries repaired slowly and faded. Nora once again settling back into a heavy sleep.

 

Paladin Danse came by later dropping off some more food and Noras Pipboy that he had gone back to retrieve from the Plaza, but he had nothing further to say. He seemed relieved when Piper informed him that Nora was improving but quickly left citing urgent business elsewhere. The reporter scared him and she was well aware that he was only here because of Nora, whom he felt responsible for as one of his recruits.

 

Piper was sitting on the couch playing Red Menace on the Pipboy, relaxing. It was the first time in five days that she had not been standing on a knife edge wondering if Blue was ever going to recover. A Nuka Cola was warming on the floor beside her and she felt, if not exactly happy, then at least partially relieved.

Dr Sun was happy with her progress and felt sure that Nora was well on her way to recovery and would soon be up and about.

Piper too was happy that the horrible bit of plastic in Blues nose was gone and the she looked….improved and hoped that Blue would soon be awake.

A loud crash came from the bedroom and Piper shot out of her chair flying upstairs. “Blue!” she shouted. Nora was lying on the floor in a tangle. Bandages and bedclothes all around and Dogmeat licking and nosing at her.

“Stuck.” A muffled noise could be heard.

“Oh my god. Blue. You’re awake.” Piper rushed over and tried to find exactly where Blue started and the bedclothes and bandages stopped. It was a frantic five minutes.

“…m stuck. Gotta get out.” Piper noticed a very fine edge of panic in Blues voice, as she hurriedly tried to untangle her from the mess. Nora pulling at the bandages, ripping them off as she struggled with increasing anxiety, to be free.

By the time Piper had helped Blue back to bed Nora was hyperventilating, her eyes wide and pupils dilated in fear. “Shhh, it’s okay Blue.” Piper grabbed hold of Noras hands as she thrashed, holding her steady and looking into Blues wild dark eyes till Blue focused enough to look at her. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

Nora held the gaze not seeing anything but struggling to focus on the eyes in front of her. Kind eyes. Eyes that didn’t mock, didn’t laugh at her pain, didn’t hurt. Eyes that she had seen before. She tried to settle her breathing, _fuck, relax, breath, Piper? Pipers here? Breath_ , _she_ _found me?_ “Piper?” Nora relaxed slightly, her hands coming up to touch Pipers face. “You’re really here?  You’re real?” her voice disbelieving and flat.

“I’m here Blue. I’m really here. Danse brought you home. Dogmeat is here too. You’re okay.”

Nora struggled to sit.

“woah…” Nora closed her eyes against the head spin as Piper held her steady on the side of the bed.

“Easy now. You all good there Blue?” Piper asked voicing concern.

“Yeah. I will be.” Nora replied, her voice barely audible.

Piper looked at her. Noras dark eyes looked back momentarily before looking away. Walled off from thoughts, from feelings, from pain, and leaving Piper wondering.

 

The next few days saw Nora improve dramatically. The first trip downstairs left her shaking, barely making it to the couch before collapsing in a trembling mess. She went on. Every hour either going upstairs or down stairs as she worked at regaining her strength and by the second day could manage both up and down in the same trip. She ate when Piper put food in front of her murmuring Please and Thank You. Rested when she needed to and at night, the glow from the pipboy lit the room, chasing the shadows away. And all the while those eyes, those dark pools, bared the truth of Noras heart to Piper. Her friend was broken.

 

Piper had to get out of the house. She didn’t want to leave Nora but Blue had barely spoken since waking and Piper was concerned. More than concerned really and she needed answers. So she left, to look for answers.

A few hours later and she was sitting in Nicks office. Thoughts were whirling in her head. She hadn’t found out much. It seemed Blue didn’t really speak to anyone about herself but everyone had words of praise to say about her. How she helped clean up the water supply in Diamond City and how she helped Travis rescue Vadim Bobrov from Beantown Brewery after Travis got into a bar fight.  Piper wasn’t too sure how Vadim got into the picture on that one but they both couldn't say enough about the vault dweller. Even Abbot sang Blues praise for finding him the exact shade of green paint to match the wall that protected the Great Green Jewel of the Commonwealth. Yep, they all said how wonderful Blue was for helping them……but none of them seemed to actually know her.

Piper fumbled in a pocket fishing for a cigarette which Nick dutifully lit for her. Taking a large drag and trying to put her thoughts in order before speaking, she had just opened her mouth to speak when there was a knock at the door of the Detective Agency.

When the door didn’t open Nick got up to check. “No one here. Seems they left a gift.” He noted a holotape on the ground that obviously didn’t belong. Bending to pick it up he read the writing scrawled messily.  **Valentine Detective Agency. Urgent.**

“I’m sorry Nick. I can go if something has come up.” Piper got up to leave.

“No. Sit. I’m sure it’s nothing. Most people don’t have a problem opening the door when they need me so I’m thinking it’s not life threatening.” Nick slipped the tape into a player.

 _Please no_ a voice cried out, followed by a muffled wracking sob and Pipers world stopped. She’d know that voice anywhere.

Nick looked quickly at Piper as he hit the stop button. “How you holding up kid?”

Piper took a shuddering breath, then another. “Is that what I think it is?” She asked.

“If you’re asking if this is a recording of Noras time in captivity, then I would have to say yes.” Nick continued, “Why it was delivered to me, here? That I don’t know without listening further. Pretty sure you don’t want to be here for that.”

“No. Yes…..  I don’t know.” Piper stumbled. “She needs help Nick. And I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t talk. It’s like she is just this body going through motions, and Blue is lost. Somewhere so far deep inside of herself, and I don’t know how to find her. She looks at me without seeing, like she’s staring right through me. She doesn’t pat Dogmeat, and she loves that dog. She doesn’t….she isn’t….she just walks up and down those damn stairs. Over and over and over again.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at Nick. “I need more information Nick. I…..I think I need to listen. I need the truth. It’s time to find out some secrets.”

Nick hit play.

Piper didn’t move. Couldn’t move. The sounds of Blues screams filled the room. The violence of the rapes. The anguish in her nightmares. She caught a word. What the fuck? Nate? But Nate was dead. Wasn’t he? She could hear Blue talking, talking to Nate. Blue had said he was dead. In the vault. But Blue was crying and begging Nate. Begging him to stop.

“Blue…” she whispered silently to herself. “oh my god. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?” Piper began to realise why Blue didn’t talk about her husband, and she felt a rage begin to build inside of her. An anger for those that would do this to anyone, but mostly….mostly an anger for those that did this to Blue.

And she was glad they were dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter but I hope I'm managing to convey a sense of hopelessness in Blue (and in Piper) that will probably continue for a while longer.


	7. In search of truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper has had enough and sets out in search of truth to try and help.

Piper didn’t go home after leaving the detective agency. She was scared that she would do something that she couldn’t undo, say something that couldn’t be unsaid. She found herself at the Dugout nursing a Nuka Cola instead, fending off Vadims advices that she should have Bobrovs Best, that it would fix everything. It did once, but Piper couldn't see how lying passed out on the ground would help today. Alcohol in her mind frame probably wasn’t the wisest course of action.

She was still angry. Angry at herself that she had never asked Blue questions. Did Blue think she didn’t care enough to ask? Didn't Blue realise that the reporter cared enough to NOT ask? That she wanted Blue to trust her with her secrets. Secrets that the nosey reported hadn't pried out of her. Piper was more than confident in her own abilities to KNOW that she could have found out anything she wanted from Blue. She just wanted...needed Blue to tell her, herself. She was angry at Blue for not saying anything. It was irrational and she knew it and Blue didn’t deserve it. Blue didn’t deserve any of this. No one did but especially not her. The one that never asked anything of anyone. Who willingly gave her time and efforts to help those around her, never expecting anything in return. She was really angry at the gunners for what they did and was glad that Danse had emptied the Plaza of their filth. Piper knew that she would have gone in there herself otherwise.

Mostly she was angry at Nate. The husband who had ridiculed instead of enriched. The man who had hurt instead of protecting. The asshole who had so traumatised Blue, brought her so low that even now, months _years really_ after his death, he was still alive, and still capable of doing what he failed to do 200years ago. Killing Nora.

With that thought Piper knew she had to get home.

She went to leave, her Nuka Cola half-finished and forgotten on the table as she opened the door to the bar. _Shit, Rad storm_. Quickly ducking back inside she returned to her table, brushing her arms at the lingering zing left on her skin from that brief exposure.

It was still daylight when Piper finally made her way back to Publick Occurrences. “Blue.” She called out as she opened the door.

“She’s not here.” Nat poked her head around the low block wall separating her room from the rest of the living area.

“What do you mean she’s not here? Where is she?” Piper felt an inkling of worry starting to form. Blue hadn’t been outside since that fateful day Piper had carried her home.

“She went for a walk.” Nat answered.

“She told you that?” Piper asked, surprised.

“Yep. Said ‘I need to walk’ then left.”

“Fuck, and we had that storm.” Piper muttered to herself, hoping that Blue had holed up somewhere safe and was even now wandering back to the Paper, but somehow knowing that this wouldn’t be the case and knowing she would have to go find her and she might as well start now. “Be back soon Nat.” she called out as the door shut behind her, leaving her once again searching around Diamond City for answers. Where was Blue?

Piper looked everywhere. Literally. Everywhere. She talked to everyone. Most people didn’t want to talk to the nosey reporter but relaxed when Piper mentioned Blues name. The consensus was the same. Blue was not here.

Piper was frantic by the time she got home. “Nat.” she called out as she ran inside, “tell me everything. What happened? Why did Blue need to walk?”

“ummm…..Blue was, y’know, sitting. On the couch. There was a knock at the door but no-one was there. They left a holotape.”

Pipers world….shifted. “W...what?” _no, she couldn’t have….could she?_

Piper sat down heavily on the couch, for the first time noticing Blues Pipboy on the floor.

“She listened to the tape. Not for long I think. Then she got up, said she needed to walk and left.”

Piper picked up the Pipboy from where it had fallen. The holotape had the same writing on it as the one delivered to the agency earlier. Piper felt sick. Did Blue listen to this?

“Why, what’s wrong Piper? She said she was fine.” Nat asked, concerned.

The Pipboy once again landed on the floor as the colour drained from Pipers face. “Fine? She said she was fine?”

Nat looked at her, confusion written across her face.

_Blue bandaged Pipers leg. It was a silly injury really, not much at all but Nora looked concerned._

_“Blue, its nothing. Really.” Blue gave her a look. “It’s okay, I’m fine.”_

_Noras hands stopped what they were doing to Pipers leg. Her head snapped up demanding eye contact with Piper. “Fine? You’re fine? Umm……”_

_“What? I’m okay. It’s barely a scratch. I’ll be walking normally in a day or two.” Piper reassured her quickly with a grin before frowning slightly. “Why, what am I missing?”_

_“Fine is….” She paused before continuing softly, hesitantly, embarrassed to be having to explain and also fearful of Pipers reaction as she opened up slightly. “Fine is…..Fucking In Need of Everything.” She ducked her head and really hoped that Piper wouldn’t ask but knew that she would._

Nora knew that Piper had questions. Questions about her, about her life, about Nate. She wanted to tell Piper, she really did. To have Piper know and understand and be her friend. She also didn’t want to tell Piper. Because she knew. She knew that people who knew, changed. They looked at her and judged her and left her and Nora knew why. It was what she deserved. So the words never came and Nora did what she did, and tried to forget _._

_“Fucking in need of everything? Nice anacronym there Blue. So, if you said you were fine, you were really saying that you weren’t?”_

_Blue nodded her head slightly, looking ashamed. “Everyone assumed you were okay and left you alone.”_

_Piper wondered how many times in her life Blue had been Fine._

 

Piper stood suddenly. “Nat, go get Nick for me. Tell him Blue has gone.”

Nat ran out, the door slamming shut behind her shaking the walls. Bits of rust flaked to the ground but Piper was unaware. She grabbed a travel bag noting absently that Dogmeat wasn’t here either and hoping his smarts would be enough to keep Blue alive. Nick was just entering the room as Piper was filling the bag with supplies. Food, ammo, stims, bandages.

“Nick, Blues gone. I need your help. I don’t know where to start looking and I can’t do this alone.” She paused for breath, “Nat, I’ve gotta go, but if Blue come back, DON’T let her leave. Get Ellie if you need to, to help. Just, keep her here.”

Piper and Nick headed northwards out of Diamond City towards the closest settlement just a few blocks away.

“Where would she go kid?” Nick interrogated. “What happened that made her run?”

“She got a holotape Nick. Those bastards gave Blue a fucking holotape.”

 

 

Piper and Nick arrived in Hangmans Alley on dusk. The Alley was just coming alive with the nightlife and the sound of Diamond City Radio echoed around the walls covering in part the near constant sounds of gunfire that rarely stopped. People milled around lazily or relaxed with a drink near the fire. Piper pushed past a brahmin and headed for the bar to ask around while Nick headed upstairs, an unspoken agreement between them to meet back soon.

It was not soon enough for Piper and she was getting fidgety waiting for Nick to return. Her efforts had revealed nothing positive. Blue had not been here.

Nick startled Piper out of her reverie by placing a fresh Nuka in front of her and pulling up a chair.

“She’s not…” Nick started.

“Blue didn’t…” Piper spoke at the same time.

They both stopped and Nick motioned for Piper to continue. “She’s not here Nick. She was never here. What do we do now? Where to next?”

“For want of a firmer destination, next should be here. Get ourselves set up for the night. Sleep on it and see what comes up in the morning. I did find someone who mentioned seeing a dog but the dog was alone. Maybe it was Dogmeat, maybe it was a stray.”

“Blues out there Nick. Now. Somewhere. She doesn’t have a gun. She has no food. She doesn’t have anything.”

“She has Dogmeat kid. He’ll look out for her.”


	8. The Memory Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora is confronted by her past

Nora didn’t know where she was going, she just knew she need to go.  To get out. Out. Of. This. Place. The walking helped. It was methodical. The rhythm of her footsteps a meditative pattern in her mind. Hypnotic. Calming. A rad storm came and went and still she walked, not noticing. The zing on her skin singing a new pattern in sharp contrast to the beat in her head. She didn’t notice where she was going or where she was headed. Dogmeat took lead, looking back frequently to make sure she was following, that the pattern hadn’t broken. His puppy eyes a pool of safety, drawing her ever onwards.

He left her briefly just after they started the walk. She had stopped in confusion, the rhythm jangling and discordant and uncomfortable. She knew then she was going to die. Just another body lying discarded on the wayside of the Commonwealth.

Dogmeat showed up under her hand, looked up at Nora holding his gaze steady on her face till she looked and saw. Yes, she knew she was going to die. But not today.

He moved slowly away looking back to see. To make sure. The rhythm began again.

Nora followed. Stopped when Dogmeat stopped. Walked when Dogmeat walked. The pattern in her mind drowning out the pain. Drowning out the memories that overwhelmed.

Dogmeat halted and sat. Nora stopped short and waited. With slow realisation and limited understanding, she looked around and realised they were somewhere. There were people, lots of people. Too many people. Her breathing accelerated sharply and she found Dogmeats head under her hand again forestalling the fear that threatened to take hold, sending everything crashing. 

Nora calmed enough to look further. Goodneighbor. And in front…..The Memory Den. Why is she here? Why would Dogmeat bring her here? She had enough memories. Too many for one person. She wanted to forget. Not remember. She was good at forgetting. Mostly.

She turned to go but Dogmeat was there. Looking at her. Imploring her with those eyes that she couldn’t say no to. Eyes she couldn’t run from. Unconditional eyes. She pleaded with a look that said _No_ , and _It’s too hard_ and _Please just let me go_ but he didn’t look away as he got up and nudged her forward.

She entered the building and tentatively made her way inside. She had been here before. With Nick. With Piper. With Kellogg. It hadn’t been good.

She was spotted by Irma who, taking one look at her, knew that something was wrong. Irma watched Nora as she walked slowly forward, a dog at her side guiding her steps. Yes, extremely wrong. Hurriedly, she went to get Dr Amari.

 

 

“Ah, we meet again. But I think not in the same circumstances as last time.”

Nora looked at Dr Amari blankly, not really sure why she was here.

“You have memories.” Dr Amari looked intently at Nora. “Lots of memories, but I think not good ones.”

“I…I want to forget.” Nora stumbled over her words. “I….. don’t know what to…….. believe. What is true. What is….me. I see Nate. Here.” She pointed to her head. “He is alive. I know he is.”

“And you want him to be alive? To relive your times together?” Amari questioned. “That we can do.”

“NO. I want to….to forget. I want to forget him. Forget I ever married him.”

“And you think this…forgetting, this will help you?”

“It has to.” Nora whispered. “It has to.”

“No.” Dr Amari looked closely at Nora. “Forgetting? That we can not do. The Memory Den is for remembering…….and I think you need to remember. All of it.”

Nora backed away in horror. “No.” She backed as far as should could, which wasn’t far. Dogmeat blocked her way. She turned to face him, for the first time, tears shining in her eyes. “Please boy, don’t make me do this.”

Dogmeat looked up at Nora, adoration in his eyes and nosed her toward the memory lounger.

Nora sat down. She didn’t want this. Who would want this. She worked so hard to forget. To look normal. To act normal. To play the part of successful lawyer with loving husband. So hard that she almost believed it. She knew she must have done something wrong for Nate to treat her like he did. That it is her fault. That she must deserve it. That’s why he came back. Because she had left him in that vault. Hadn’t she?

Dr Amari ran the program and Noras memories began.

 

Magnolia was singing again tonight at the Third Rail. The usual suspects where there and Whitechapel Charlie was doing a roaring business in drink sales. Except for one. She had noticed the drifter who sat nursing a beer all night. One beer didn't do much for business, but she seemed to be keeping out of trouble. Magnolia sang and watched as one after another, others came to sit beside the woman and strike up conversation, all quickly leaving rubbing their arms hastily.

 _A big case of Rad zing there_ , Magnolia thought as she sang, and wondered at the woman with the thousand-yard stare.

“Thank you! I'll be right back after a short break...”

Magnolia finished her set and grabbed a drink. She wandered over to the drifter feeling the prickle on her arms as she got close. _I’ve seen that Dog before._ _Wait…_ “Nora?”

There was no response so Magnolia gave the dog a pat and wandered back onstage to sing…and she watched.

Blue sat and sat. Memories flooded her thoughts and shutting down input from her surroundings. She couldn’t stop the images as they played over and over. Things that she had forgotten. Things that she had buried so far below her consciousness that even now she wondered if that was her. But she knew it was.

She was still sitting there when Magnolia finished her shift and came over, Dogmeat giving her a glance and deciding she was safe.

Magnolia reached down to take Noras hand, guiding her gently off the seat and out of the bar. Dogmeat followed closely but didn’t put up any objection.

“Come with me honey. Let’s get you taken care of.” Magnolia led Nora to the Rexford Hotel and to her room.  “Dogs outside boy. You know the rules.” Dogmeat wagged his tail and dutifully sat outside the room as Magnolia shut the door and led Nora over to sit on the bed.

“But first, a drink.” Magnolia poured Nora a drink. A little whiskey for sleep, a lot of refreshing beverage for the Rads. She really needed to do something about that zing before anything. It made her skin itch.

Nora was still sitting where Magnolia had sat her. Her face a mask, not even aware of her surroundings.

“Drink this honey.” Magnolia coaxed, placing the glass in Noras hand.

Nora drank obediently finishing it all without prompting and let Magnolia gently guide her till she was lying down in the bed.

She slept and did not dream, the arms of the singer wrapped around her protectively and without intention.

 


	9. The Third Rail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper and Nick slowly catch up to Blue. Piper can't work out why Blue has to remember.

 

Piper woke early to find Nick packed and ready to leave. Hangmans Alley was quiet and for once the sounds of gunfire nearby had stilled. The shops were yet to open an Piper was glad for the supplies she had packed before leaving Diamond City as she ate a quick, cold meal.

“A trader came in from Bunker Hill. Says he saw a dog, well kept. Not a mongrel. Says it looked like the dog was heading for Goodneighbor.” Nick relayed what he knew.

“Did the trader see anyone with the dog?”

“No kid. No mention of Blue.”

Despair and hope warred in Pipers eyes, “I don’t have any other ideas of where to look, do you?” she asked questioningly.

“Not at this point.”

“Goodneighbor it is then I guess.” Piper hefted her bag up on her shoulder, holstered her 10mm and started off. _Where are you Blue? Please be headed for Goodneighbor. Or be there already_. Pipers thoughts worried around in her head as she walked.

They made good time to the township and stopping off first at Daisy’s Discounts as they entered.

“Daisy.” Piper began. “you seen Blue around these parts? Yesterday…..or today?”

Daisy crinkled up her face more and thought hard. “Nope, can’t say I have. Not recently anyways. The last time I saw her she was with you. ”

Nick interjected, “What about a dog?”

“A dog? Sure, I saw one of them yesterday. Travelled with a scavver who looked in need of a hit. They headed on over to the memory den.”

Pipe exchanged a sharp glance with Nick _. Scavver? Blue? The Memory Den?_ Piper all but ran, hope and fear juggling for equal place in her heart. _Was it Blue? It must have been Blue. But the Memory Den?_ Piper couldn’t for the life of her think why Blue would turn up here. The last time she was there hadn’t been all joy and happiness.

Nick opened the door and they made their way inside. Dr Amari wasn’t immediately visible, so Piper made her way downstairs.

“Ahh, Nick, Piper. It’s good to see you both again. What can I do for you today?” Dr Amari asked.

“Did Blue come here yesterday?” Piper rushed out her question.

“Your friend? Yes, she was here yesterday.” The Doctor replied.

“Did she seem okay?” Piper hesitated, “I mean….what did she come here for?”

“Look, I shouldn’t be telling you this, confidentiality and all, but I guess you are family….all the family she has right now. She was pretty messed up and not making decisions a…..person in their right mind would be making, so I will tell you. She came here to forget.”

Pipers breath hitched in shocking realisation. “Oh my god.” She hadn’t even thought of that.

“Don’t worry. I told her we don’t do that. That the Memory Den is for remembering. She seemed reluctant but for that dog of hers. He pushed her into it.”

“Dogmeat? Dogmeat wanted her to remember?” Piper asked. _I thought she did remember. How could she forget? How do you forget that?_

“Yes, wouldn’t let her leave. Forced her into that lounge over there, even though she was crying and begging him. Almost broke my heart.”

 _Blue was crying? Of course she would be crying. She’s just gone through hell and now is being forced to remember. You’d be crying too._ Piper wondered anyway and looked bleakly at the lounger Blue had so recently vacated. _Hang on Blue. We’ll find you. I’ll find you_.

“What happened?” Nick carried the conversation.

“Oh, well, it took a couple of hours. The memories were deep and old. Many years old. But after? She left. Wandered out without a word.”

 _Old memories? How long had Blue and Nate been married?_ Piper thought it had been only a couple of years. _Not that old._

“You don’t know where she headed?” Piper asked.

“No. The Rad zing coming off her was pretty bad. Maybe she went to get that treated. She had all the hairs on my arms standing upright. Must have walked in through that storm yesterday. She wasn’t paying it much attention though, like she didn’t even feel it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she probably didn’t.” Piper replied wearily. _Blue, where are you? Where are you going?_

The pair headed over to the Third Rail to ask around and to plan. Where would Blue go next. And why? None of this was making sense. What was Dogmeat doing?

Magnolia was on stage singing as they entered and. Piper glanced her way briefly catching her eye and nodding slightly as she found a seat and waited for the singer.

Nick headed to the bar to talk to Whitechapel Charlie.

“What’s the word Charlie?” Nick opened.

“Valentine. You actually gonna buy something this time?” The Mr Handy behind the bar asked.

“It’d be a chilly day in hell before I buy any of your swill.” Nick retorts. “So, I have a friend in need of finding. You seen Nora around here recently?”

“Didn’t see anyone that needed finding.” Charlie replied drolly.

“Always the humanitarian, ain’t ya, Chuck?” Nick walked off and looked around for more people to question.

Piper tried to sit patiently while listening, waiting for the singer finish her song.

 

“ _So we're glad you dropped by_

_Come in and loosen up your tie_

_Have a drink or maybe just one more_

_But if you're searchin' for something to bring you comfort_

_Oh well, I'm the one you're lookin' for._

 

_Now is your motor running close to empty?_

_Or are you runnin' from yourself?_

_You're thirsty for a brand new kind of pleasure?_

_Or are you hungry to be somebody else?_

 

_So sit down your pretty face You came to the right place_

_Oh, where every night it starts once more_

_I'm telling you friend, your search is at an end_

_Cause I'm the one you're lookin' for.”_

 

Magnolia finished up her set and wandered over to the reporter, straight up asking, “I hope you are looking for your friend?”

Piper looked up sharply. “Blue was here? You saw her?”

“Sure honey. Took her home and looked after her.”

Piper knew Magnolias version of ‘looking after’ someone. Personally. It was a fond memory, one that she relegated to her past, but Blue? Was that even right, in her state of mind? Her eyes narrowed and her mouth tightened, “You…looked after…Blue?”

“Got some drink into her…”

“That’s not helping Magnolia.”

“Sucked those Rads right out of her body. Couldn’t go to bed with that much zing around….”

“Seriously Not Helping Magnolia.” Piper punctuated every word with a gesture.

“She fell asleep right away and left with that Dog of hers first thing this morning. You missed her by three hours. Headed north out of town.”

Piper stood to leave as the breath she didn’t realise she had been holding, released.

“Honey?” Magnolia caught Pipers arm before she left. “Look after her okay. I haven’t seen a girl that scared for a long time.”

Piper nodded a response and left quickly, hoping to catch up with Blue before nightfall.

 

Piper and Nick headed north towards Bunker Hill as quietly but as fast as they could, trying to make up lost time. Piper remained worried. If Blue was so far gone in her own mind to travel through a Rad storm then she was in deep trouble. Piper needed to find her. She hoped that Dogmeat knew what he was doing.


	10. On the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piper finally catches up with Blue. Blues begins to open up.

 

Nora moved onwards. Stumbling over uneven ground. Falling at times, skinning her hands on the rough surfaces that prevailed all over the Commonwealth.

The rhythm was lost. The beat of her feet discordant and harsh. The pattern now chaos as memories flooded her mind, overpowering in their wholeness. It could have been day or night, dark or light and still she walked. She didn’t know and was too far deep inside to understand. The one constant keeping her going, the eyes of her pup.

Dogmeat was never far away. If she lost sight of him she stopped, not knowing if he would be back but too thrown off balance by circumstances to do anything else but stand and wait. They passed Bunker Hill early, Dogmeat doubling back to the Hill, Nora unaware of the trail he was leaving, as they continued heading North West till late afternoon.

Noras hands were grazed and bloody, her knees and shins bruised from the too frequent impacts with the ground. There were new rips in her too large clothing, where the material had caught on the surfaces and outcroppings of the broken landscape.

She could feel a deep weariness throughout her body but it didn’t compete with the heaviness in her mind. A heaviness that smothered feelings and emotions with the memories that she had thought gone. Memories that threatened to smother everything in Noras life.

 

Dogmeat left her.

Sheltered on the leeward side of a ruin Nora sat and waited. She waited and remembered, lost so far inside the pain that was as to be unaware of time passing, unaware of the skies darkening, till Dogmeat reappeared, carrying a can of Cram.

He dropped it at her feet whining and pawing at the tin.

“Hhmm….?” Several warm wet licks on her face finally moored Nora to the present and she looked at the can, wondering what it was. What it meant. A further lick and as the world focused around her, she recognised the ancient can for what it was. “You hungry boy? Want some food?” Her dog needed her.

Nora opened the can and dug out a chunk of meat with her fingers holding it out to her dog. He nudged her fingers with his nose. “Oh. Me first huh,” wrinkling up her face at the thought, “It’s not really my thing, but…..” She licked the Cram off her fingers trying not to taste it as she swallowed the substance down, memories of that first day in Sanctuary Hills flooding back as fresh as yesterday. The zing on her tongue that had made her so sick, now a minor inconvenience.

Dogmeat finished the rest of the canned meat Nora tipped out on the ground mainly to make it even more inedible, and thanked her pup for his thoughtfulness, giving him a huge hug.

He showed no signs of leaving again as he sat close, ever alert to the changes in the wind. Nora stayed sitting as darkness fell, her fingers running through his course hair as she patted him, not understanding that, in that moment, as she cared for Dogmeat, she also cared for herself.

 

 

Piper didn’t like travelling at night but she was desperate. Nick had been convinced the trail was getting fresher so they pressed on, not stopping to eat, not stopping to rest. She had to get to Blue, and another day on the road without contact was a thought she didn’t want to entertain.

The sun was long gone and the wasteland creatures well up when Nick saw……something. Piper headed closer.

She came up to the dark campsite making enough noise to alert Dogmeat who cocked his head at her arrival but didn’t move, and not enough noise to freak Blue out.

Blue was sitting on the ground, back resting against the ruined wall, staring past the unlit fire.

“We were happy once y’know.”

Piper startled. _Blue was talking? This was good. Wasn’t it?_ Much better than the silence that was, when she first awoke after her rescue.

Piper sat down quietly across from her, not daring to speak for fear of disrupting, whatever this was. It was a hard ask for the reporter, when all she wanted was to run over and hug Blue and yell at her for scaring her and hold her and never let her go.

The quiet emptiness continued and Piper was almost ready to break the silence when Blue continued. “When we met, I was in school. Law school. I had nearly finished and just had exams to go before passing the Bar.”

Piper had no idea what Blue was talking about but decided _Time and place, Papergirl. Not the time, not the place._

Blue continued to gaze past the fire. Past Piper, and into the darkness of her memory. “He came into the library to get out of the rain, all wet and dishevelled. He was so charming and sweet to me. And dripping all over my books.” Blue shivered. In cold now or in memory past, Piper didn’t know, but she moved to light the fire, banking it so the light was partially shielded. No sense in attracting unwelcome guests.

Blue looked at Piper making eye contact at last and Piper, for the first time ever, saw the shields behind her eyes come crashing down, leaving Blue vulnerable.

 _Oh my god. She’s beautiful._ Piper moved to sit next to Blue, for all the world trying to maintain the distance she knew Blue needed. She had already thought that Blue was pretty damn awesome. But she had never realised how stunningly attractive Blue really was. How her heart just stopped right now, when she looked at the, for-the-first-time-ever-unguarded woman in front of her. _Oh fuck. I’m in trouble. SO not the time Piper. SO not the place._

 “He didn’t know what happened and I never told him. I was never very good at talking.”

Piper looked confused momentarily before biting back a retort at that obviously ridiculous statement, as she realised the truth of it. It was true. Blue wasn’t very good at talking. Oh, she knew how to speak. Had inspired dozens of people with her gift of speech. Her words even now being heard encouraging people to come, join the nearest settlement. She just didn’t talk about herself, about her feelings.

“We got married and I was so happy. All my friends came. They loved him. Thought I was so lucky. The day he found out……” Blues hand unconsciously found its way to the scar on her eyebrow.

For a long while Piper sat there in the silence waiting for more, before realising that that was all Blue had, and watched as she fell back into herself, into the memories. It was all she was capable of. It was a start. _But what did Nate not know? Did he cause that scar?_

Piper continued sitting in the stillness a while longer before realising to herself that Blue probably hadn’t eaten all day and that she herself felt like she could eat an entire mirelurk claw. She set about rectifying that situation, pulling supplies out of her bag and beginning to heat up some dinner.

The tears fell silently down Blues cheeks, shining slightly in the fire light. Noticed but not mentioned by the woman who loved her.

 

When Blue lay down later up against the fallen wall, Dogmeat was there, watching, guarding. Piper lay out her own sleeping bag on the other side of the fire. Close enough to watch, not close enough to intrude.

“Piper?” So softly spoken as to be barely audible.

Piper looked over. Blue was looking at her, those eyes fathomless pools, speaking, imploring words that Blue couldn’t or didn’t know how to say. Piper got up and moved closer, lying down alongside her friend. She could feel a fine tremor coursing through Blues body, as she lay down against Blues back. Her arms reached around Blues waist, holding her safe, unaware and unconcerned that she was mimicking the care Magnolia provided last night, at the Rexford.

Nick watched them all from the top of a rise, nodding in satisfaction as they settled in for the night. Dogmeat had it covered. He turned and began to retrace his steps back toward Diamond City.

 


	11. And on to Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue opens up to Piper as she deals with her demons

Blue was up with the first light, the coldness leaving a vacuum against Pipers skin and waking her fully and suddenly.

“Cap for your thoughts?”

“Pretty sure my thoughts aren’t worth that much.” Blue replied blandly and Piper hid a smile that she had got a reply from the overly quiet vault dweller.

“So, where’re we headed?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t know where we are.”

Piper looked surprised. “You don’t? How’d you get here then?”

“I followed him.” Nora pointed to Dogmeat who was sitting there, tongue lolling out, watching them.

 

Piper made Blue eat some leftovers before she packed up. Noticing the rubbish, she kicked the empty Cram can on the ground. “Really?”

“No. Well, a little. I gave it to Dogmeat.”

Piper grinned. Some things didn’t change.

“Dogmeat….where’re we going boy? Lead on.” Piper called out the command and Dogmeat led out.

 

They had been walking for some time in silence, Piper sneaking sideways glances at her friend and Blue mostly looking at the ground just a few steps ahead of her feet. Piper couldn’t tell if she was thinking or remembering or just making sure she wasn’t going to trip over…again, but whatever it was she was doing, it didn’t include paying attention to anything going on around her. She was glad that Dogmeat had looked out for Blue the last two days as it would have been so easy for her to walk into something and not walk out of it.

“Piper?”

“Yeah Blue.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What? You have nothing to be sorry for.” Piper stopped walking. “Hey, look at me.”  She made sure Blue was looking at her and focused on her. “You have got nothing to be sorry for, you hear?”

Piper could see a mountain of hurt just below the surface. “You, did nothing wrong. You need to understand that Blue. Not to me. Not to him. Not to anyone.” Piper could see Blue struggling to contain her emotions, Pipers words warring with Blues belief, and she was concerned. Here, in the middle of the wasteland, was probably not the best place to breakdown.

“Hey.” Piper interrupted herself, breaking that eye contact, looking around, “I know where we are. I win.”

“Ummm.…we were having a competition?” Blue asked, immediately diverted from her train of thought, looked around trying to pull herself back, and with dawning revelation, placed herself. “Concord?”

“Nope, too late. You owe me a breakfast.”

“Well if I knew we were having a competition and me losing meant I had to cook, I would’da paid more attention.” Blue grumbled.

Piper just grinned to herself _. Blue, so easily distracted_.

 

 

Piper and Blue stood on the bridge leading into Sanctuary Hills.

“This is where you lived?” Piper asked.

“Yeah.” Blues voice was tight with tension. “You can’t see the house from here but it’s still standing. It was a military development. Houses for vets.” She stopped talking and in little more than a whisper, “I can’t. I can’t go back there. I know I returned earlier but that was before. Before…..I remembered. Everything.”

“You didn’t remember….before, Blue?”

“I…y……no….” Blues words stumbled haltingly. “I don’t know? Some I guess?”

Piper felt a small ripple of shock jolt her in sudden understanding. Blue never talked about herself, not because she wouldn’t, but because she didn’t remember. She carefully took Blues hand, judging her reaction as she went. “Come. Let’s sit down.” She said gently, leading Blue off the bridge and back towards the statue they had passed. She sat down on its base and waited for Blue to relax enough to sit.

“Talk to me Blue. Tell me about the Sanctuary that was.”

_I can’t. It hurts too much. I tried to forget. I thought it wasn’t real, that what happened wasn’t real. It didn’t hurt as much when it wasn’t real. Mostly. I was wrong. And it hurts Piper. I can hardly breath._

Piper waited patiently, wishing, not for the first time, that Blue would talk. Her hand placed on Blues arm gently caressing small circles with her thumb. She could feel Blues heart beat hammering and the muscles tightening in her forearms as her breath rate began to increase.

Blue began to hyperventilate. She couldn’t stop. “I can’t….I can’t…breath.” Her eyes widened in fear. “It hurts, here,” holding her chest, “Help me…..I can’t do….this.”

“Blue, look at me. Look at me.” Piper put her hand on Blues face directing her gaze. “You can breath. You are breathing. Look at me,” she commanded as Blue…….drifted. Piper couldn’t really think of any other word for it. One moment Blue was here with her, and the next she wasn’t. “Blue, where did you go?” but Piper knew, too late, that Blue wasn’t there.

“No Nate. Please don’t put me back in there. Its dark. You know I don’t like the dark.” Piper thought Blue was rambling then realised with a shock…..these were Blues memories.

Quieter now. “He’ll let me out soon. He always lets me out. What if he doesn’t.  I’m going to die in here. I shouldn’t have told him. What….I didn’t tell him. How does he know?” Blue was frantically pawing at the air as if searching, reaching. Piper made a grab for Blues hands to stop her from inadvertently hurting herself and held them firmly on Blues knees.

And then a change……

“No! You’re dead. I saw you shot. You aren’t real.” Blue screwed her eyes shut against the memory she was seeing. “She will believe me. I know she will. She’s….not like the others. Not like your friends. She won’t leave me. Oh god…..that smell…. like Nate….like his….mates.”

_Is Blue talking about me?_ Piper wondered.

“Blue. Come back to me. It’s not happening. It’s not….now, Blue.”

Blue was frantic, she struggled against the restraints of Pipers hands and screamed, “No! Let me go! Don’t you fucking touch me.”

Piper let go and quickly jumped back as Blue lashed out against the demons in her mind.

“You can’t do this to me.” Blues thrashing slowed and Piper hesitantly moved in closer till she was standing in front of the distraught woman. “You won’t do this to me. Not any more.”

“Blue?” Blue slumped into Pipers arms tears flooding from her eyes as if a dam had burst. “You’re safe. You’re safe.” Piper held her tight, rocking her gently like she used to do with Nat when she was younger, when the nightmares had come and all that helped were her sisters arms. “Shhh. It’s okay Blue. He’s gone. It’s over. And….I’m not going anywhere doll. I’m not leaving you.”

The painful sobs wracking Blues body gradually slowed as Piper continued to speak softly and lovingly to her. Her arms remaining firm around Blue, providing that wall of protection she knew Blue needed, replacing the ones Blue had built in years past.

“He raped me Piper. Him and all his army buddies. I didn’t know it was him till after we married. When he…..when he started hitting me.” A small muffled voice came from Pipers chest where Blue had buried her face.

“I don’t understand? He raped you after you met?” Piper was really not following the conversation but kept her arms around Blue, comforting and caring as Blue tried to find the words.

Blue stilled and pulled back slightly. “No. Before. Before I……. married him.” And quieter still, so soft that Piper could barely hear, “Before I met him.”

“You knew each other before the library?”

“We did. And we didn’t.” Blue stopped as if to compose herself taking a few shuddering breaths.

“I was on manoeuvres one day. Back when I was a medic?” Piper nodded remembering. “I got cut off from my squad and captured.” Blue took a breath, closing her eyes against the anger she could see rising in Pipers eyes. Anger that she knew and understood. For the first time realising, it wasn’t directed at her.

“My squad found me…….later, tied and dumped in a ditch. They took me back to base.” Blue kept her eyes closed and tried to even her breathing. Piper waited, trying to calm her own self down as she tried not to think too hard about the people that had so hurt this beautiful, gentle, woman.

“We were among friendlies Piper. It was training. I was captured by friendlies.” Blue stopped as tears fell from beneath closed eyelids but she remained in control. _Breath. You got this_. Blue felt herself relax slightly, the weight and warmth of Pipers arms more of a comfort that she realised.

“Nates squad.” Piper said flatly.

“Yeah. Nates squad.”

“And when he saw you in the library?”

“We didn’t know we had already met.”


	12. Vault 111

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue heads back in to the Vault.

They stopped briefly in Sanctuary Hills on their way through, Pipers glare at anyone coming near Blue enough to send them away without further word or interaction. Piper wondered which house Blue used to live in, before the bombs fell but figured that today wasn’t the day to be asking.

Blue walked woodenly through the estate, not looking at anyone, ignoring Preston when he made as if to talk before he too was chased away by the feisty reporter guarding Blues space. She stopped briefly at a repaired house with a suit of power armour outside, before moving back down the street the way she and Piper had entered.

There was a small stream with a rundown bridge that led to a hill out the back of the developed area. Piper kept close as Blue led the way back up the path to the top of the hill. The path that she had last gone up, over 200yrs previously.

The Vault entrance topped the rise, its flat ground level disc unimposing to look at. Piper stood on the platform and waited.

Blue pushed the button to work the elevator mechanism of Vault 111 and hurried over, taking her place by Pipers side. She unconsciously reached for Pipers hand as they began to descend and she felt her breathing change.

Piper moved closer to Blue, sensing her need and gave Blues hand a squeeze to help distract her.

“I forgot how cold it was down here.” Blue murmured as they reached the bottom and climbed the staircase leading into the vault proper. I didn’t really take much notice when I arrived. I was still too shocked at seeing that blast and wasn’t really paying attention. And when I left…..well, I just wanted to get out.”

Blue led her deeper in, passing Vault-Tec staff still lying where they fell, undisturbed for two centuries. They wandered the corridors slowly, Piper letting Blue take all the time she needed.

“It feels like only yesterday I entered this place the first time. Nate was holding Shaun. He didn’t trust me to hold my own son.” Blues words caught a little in her throat.

“You’ll find Shaun, Blue. We’ll find him. Together.” Blue graced Piper with a warm smile that made it to her eyes and Pipers heart skipped a beat.

Those walls were still down, and Piper made it her mission to keep them down because holy shit, who wouldn’t want Blue looking at them with those eyes, unguarded and open.

They made it to the end of the vault.

“Is this who I think it is?”

Blue nodded.

“Do you need some time?”

“Yeah,”

Piper made as if to move away, “No, don’t go.” Blue pulled her back. “I need you. Here. With me.”

She stood with Blue in front of Nates cryostasis pod.

“I thought for a bit that maybe……. I remembered wrong. That Nate wasn’t dead. When I was with….” Blue paused. “when the gunners……had me…….I thought I saw him, and his buddies. But it wasn’t was it?”

Piper figured the question was rhetorical, not really needing an answer.

“It wasn’t him. He’s gone and……. I don’t need to be scared of him anymore. All those times he hurt me……that he made me feel useless, like I couldn’t do anything……I don’t know what hurt more, his hands……..or his words.” Blue choked back a sob and closed her eyes, her hand gripping Pipers firmly, feeling Pipers warmth again by her side. Pipers presence warming a coldness in her heart that she hadn’t even been aware was there.

 “I believed him. I believed I was useless, that I deserved it.”

“Oh Blue.” Pipers eyes watered up. She didn’t know what to say to offer comfort so put her arm around Blues waist, drawing her nearer.

“I was wrong.” She said softly before taking a deep breath. “I was wrong. I didn’t deserve that. And I’m not useless.”

Blue turned her back on her dead husband and began walking away. Away from the pain and the hurt and the anguish. Away from a past that she couldn’t change but toward a future, where she could. Towards adventure and hope. Pipers hand held firmly in her own. Her heart growing lighter as every step took her closer to where she wanted to be, onwards to a new journey. 

 

Only Dogmeat heard the small noise made by two rings dropping on the floor behind them as they left.


	13. Euripides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

Blue was sitting upstairs at Abernathy farm watching the wasteland fade into night as Piper came up behind her, absently putting her arms around Blues shoulders.

“Are you okay Blue?” she asked quietly.

The pause lengthened as Blue thought about that question, wanting to give a real answer. “Honestly, I don’t know.” She fell silent a moment longer. “I don’t think so. Not really. But you know something? I think I will be.” She whispered under her breath. “I will be.”

Piper heard those last words and gave Blues shoulders a tighter squeeze. “When a good woman is hurt, all who must be called good must suffer with her.”

Blue looked up at her astounded. “You’re quoting Euripides at me?”

“I don’t know what that is.” Piper replied as she moved around to sit on Blues lap. “It was just something my father used to say when I was growing up. It let me know that, no matter what, we are all connected. That when someone hurts, others hurt with them.”

Blue pulled her arms around Piper holding her tight and together, they watched the night fall.


End file.
